C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Houston, we have a squirter
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
