so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
