shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
