I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
