"it" just moved
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
ok first of all what the fuck
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
