I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
