I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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