You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
