Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
