I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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