But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize