You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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