If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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