I think i peed on brittanys purse
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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