In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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