im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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