Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize