Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
