I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
