Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
