Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
