At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
