So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
