so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize