If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
