the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
