If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
