my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
