I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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