You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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