I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
