It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
