I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
