so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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