Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
