I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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