If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
