what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
