i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
