I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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