We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
