AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
