thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
