What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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