Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
