guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
