hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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