their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
