I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
