you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
