OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
