I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
