Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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