Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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