He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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