i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize