It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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