I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize