i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
