watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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