Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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