so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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