"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
