How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
