it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
