Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize