I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
