I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
