It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
