I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
