My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
