would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
