his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
