I am midnight drunk by noon
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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