Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
