I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
