I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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