Swine flu. Run for my life!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
