I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
